Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Behaviors to keep in check

Before you speak, is it kind, true, respectful..necessary
I was reading a blog the other day talking about the five behaviors we must teach our kids to conquer, and it dawned on me that adults tend to struggle with these behaviors as well.  We can argue whether or not it is because we were never taught - or maybe it's just a sign of our times.

The first one is lying.  Is it any wonder our children lie when they see adults do it every day on television?  Shameful.  For that matter, I would even go so far as to suggest that maybe witnessing the media (day in and day out) put their particular slant on the truth, tends to make lying easier for all of us.  And not only TV and the media, any brand of social media sports its own unique brand of "fake news" which is just a vanilla term for lying.  We have even come up with words to excuse a lie - how about "exaggerated" "storyteller" and "just kidding" if we get called out.

The next one to consider is disrespecting authority.  Again, prime time television shows are chalk full of disrespectful behavior to adults, (including parents) and authority figures.  I can promise you my mouth would have been full of soap had I even THOUGHT about saying some of the things we witness and take as acceptable behavior.  No one is exempt.  From parents, neighbors, strangers, teachers and coaches, all the way up to our elected officials (and wannabees).

And along with the disrespectful behavior are the twin evils "unkind words and aggressive behavior".   This is an added bonus to "disrespecting authority".  Whatever happened to "if you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing at all."  I would even add, "if you don't have anything nice to say, constructive to the perceived problem, or sharing of past experience with same issue...zip it." Today's disagreements quickly escalate into name calling and (at times) threats.  That will really get me to change my opinion...NOT!

Last but not least - laziness.  Why?  In the past several years, the inclination to do nothing rather than something is almost epidemic.  Who will get the job done (whatever that job may be) if not you and me?  Keep in mind I am differentiating between "can't do" and "won't do".  One of the sayings I grew up with in the work world was "you can either push the wagon, or pull the wagon, but riders who shouldn't be riding, will be escorted off the wagon."  Granted, we all have our lazy days, but this is not a way of life.

If you still have children at home, there is time to address these issues.  Call them out on a lie (it may be cute at 3 but won't be at 13).  If your child is disrespectful to you (or anyone else), set the record straight on how we treat people.  Don't let them hear you disrespecting others either.  Kids are great mimics!  When unkind words or aggressive behavior is displayed, pull your child aside and voice your concern.  Sit them down for a few minutes (age appropriate) of pondering.  And finally, laziness has an easy solution.  Have your child set the table (clear it off), unload the dishwasher, make their bed, clean their room, write a letter to their Mimi (HINT).  Help them learn how to earn the participation medal in life.

Don't get me started on that today....a blog topic for another day.

Until next,
#nottoolateforyou
#everyone

your pal,
Kari

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