There is always something to be done.

Next in my Dr. Seuss series

When I was first promoted to a leadership role, I really began to appreciate the nuances in every day language.  The difference between "You can't do that, can you?" versus "Tell me what you can do" invite entirely different responses....all driven by attitude.

When I replaced the word "challenge" with "opportunity", my view of whatever was before me became possible.  Too often we start with negative words or connotations at the beginning of a task.  And don't get me wrong, it's so easy to do.  But a person can become a prisoner if they focus on "I can't do _____."

Right now in Texas, the effects of Hurricane Harvey are being felt by over 30 counties (already being declared a state of disaster) with over 30,000 individuals and displaced families being housed in shelters.  That number will continue to grow as more rain moves into the affected areas, causing additional flooding, levees giving way and failing infrastructure.  It seems overwhelming.

And that is where we all come in.  All of us!  While we may be sitting "high and dry", we cannot remain unaffected by the plight that has struck our friends, our neighbors, our family of man.

The Red Cross is in full swing, committing 100% of all donations to these victims.  Whether it is $10 or $100, every dollar will be needed.  While churches and community centers in the affected areas are opening their doors to house those in need, churches and communities around the country are gathering socks, diapers, clothing, water....everything.  Because everything is needed.

Many businesses are donating a percentage of profits for a product, or on a given day, to support the relief efforts.  You can be a part of that by ordering a t-shirt or going to a restaurant on that specific day.

Can you give blood?  The supply situation is critical.  Now is the time.  Look for local drives being held in your area.

I have had many conversations about this dire situation, and the feeling of helplessness by so many of us is pervasive.

But there is always something you can do.  And always something to be done.

I will start with prayer.

Until next time,
#explorealloptions

your pal,
Kari

How did we get to where we are?

Fair question.  How did any of us get to where we are?  The devil is in the details - right?  The other day, someone said to me "you are so lucky (to be where I am at in life)  What is my secret?  For me, the simple answer is "choices" but in detail, this is what "my luck" looks like.

Since I was 10 years old, I have had an unwavering faith in God.  My faith has lifted me during some low times and also paved the path I am on.  Not all my choices have been the right ones, yet God's Grace bought me back.

Thank you, Dr. Seuss

I have worked since I was 14 years old.  That was the summer I had my first babysitting job (that I got paid for - siblings don't count).  This job was 7:00 am to 5:30ish and it was for three children, ages 10 (girl) 8 (boy) and 6 (boy who was deaf).  No, I did not know sign language.  Every weekday I walked about 1.5 miles to their house. The expectations were to make sure they were fed breakfast and lunch, have the house straightened before mom/dad got home, and to make sure that the children didn't do serious bodily harm to each other while all this was going on.  For that, I was paid $20 per week.  At the time, I thought I had "made bank".

By the time I was starting high school, my working had evolved year-round; still part-time but easily 15-25 hours per week.  I made less than one dollar per hour initially but by the time I graduated high school, I was up to $2.25 per hour.  Once I (and all my siblings) began high school, we paid for our clothes, fast food, gas money (after paying off the loan for first car) and shenanigans.  This wasn't anything less than expectations.  Thankfully, we weren't burdened by the now perceived necessity of pagers - then cell phones, and now basically handheld mini computers that are seldom used for calls.

I have worked full-time (and then some) for most of my adult life.  I have a couple gaps in time that never exceeded 8 months.  Those were more than made up for when I found myself working at times 2 jobs, sometimes 3 - during my adult life.  My mom also worked two jobs during that expensive time when she had five kids entering their teen years.  Again, this was the expectation if one needed a little more income to make ends meet.

I was able to stop working multiple jobs when I finally went back to school.  I took advantage of an educational incentive benefit offered by my employer, which allowed me to return to college and receive partial reimbursement. After the first semester (6 hours) I went full-time during the year and still took holiday and summer classes.  I took one semester off when I had Madison.  It took me seven years to get my Bachelors degree, but I got it done without going into debt.  I never quit.

Within one year, I realized I wanted to earn by Master's degree.  This time, it was without employer assistance and internships of 750 hours would be required in addition to the  60 hour core program.   This was completed in three years.

In a nutshell, that simple answer of "choices" is reflected above.  Those choices involved sacrifice, determination and hard work.  It also included what I call "stick to it iveness".  There were many times, I was tired, but I never quit.  Not mentioned through all of this is while working full-time, going to school full-time and getting the homework required done, I was raising a family.  Yes, I missed a few things, but I got the job done.

So...I encourage all of you (whether "lucky" or "unlucky") to do this simple exercise of "How did you get to where you are"?   The answers may surprise you.  And it's never too late to make a different choice.

Until next time,
#blessed

your pal,
Kari

We are family!

Back in the late 70's,  (1979 to be exact) the song "We are Family" was released by the American vocal group, Sister Sledge.  This time frame was when I was in my early 20's.  Fast forward XXX amount of years, and this song is still VERY popular today.  It's the best theme song for ALL families.

We are family (the originals)

This was about the time us five kids were coming (or had already arrived) at the legal age that allowed us to go to clubs.  For those of you from Topeka, who remembers "The Old Way Station"? This was our first go-to club for music and adult beverages.  I am certain my brother-in-law remembers this old haunt since Erik, Lori and I took him for a night out when we first met him.  Both Katy and Tony were in the Air Force and Tony braved the first family intro meeting alone. Apparently we should have told him what happens in Topeka, stays in Topeka.  Yes, I got a call from mom the next day that started out "I hope you kids are proud of yourselves...."  Enough said about that experience.  But I feel certain that we all danced to our song.

Then there was another favorite "Rainbows".  Since Lori and I both worked there part-time, we always had the opportunity to request our song and get out on that dance floor (without waiting to be asked) whenever "We are family" was played.  Why?  Well, because we are!!!

Since that time, we have all danced together at parties, receptions, weddings, bars, in the house, or....even in the grocery store....whenever two or more were gathered and heard that song.

Recently, my niece got married.  It was just a matter of time before our song was queued up.  This song peels away time and years like nothing else.  Of course, my sisters and mom  (and me) hit the dance floor, but now I looked around at the different generations that joined us:   our own kids, grand kids, nieces and a nephew (plus a great niece and nephew) that all danced to this song as if it were just released.

Then we were joined by friends who are like family and the circle continued to get bigger until there really was no room left on that dance floor.  And as we sang and smiled and carried on like dancing fools, we could almost pretend that we were all there.

I don't know about the rest of my family, but for me, whenever I hear that song, in my heart, we are all still dancing together.

Until next time,
#wecarryon

your pal,
Kari

I believe it has arrived!

It's all good!

Middlescence.  It historically has been defined as the middle-age period of life, especially when considered a difficult time of self-doubt and readjustment.  Wow.  What a Debbie Downer description of aging.  

If you would have asked me at 20 what middle age looked like, I am sure I would have said "oh, anytime after 40". I think I increased it by 10 years by the time I hit 30, but as it turns out, I didn't realize it arrives when things basically go to hell.

Happily, we all know that times, they are a changing.  And how we look at getting old(er) is much more optimistic.  Some people now define middlescence as the second adolescence. (WHOOHOO)

As evidenced, at 60, I haven't slowed down at all (well, not much).  In fact, it is safe to say that I am enjoying more adventure with less fear, than at any time in my life.  No difficult time of self-doubt and readjustment going on here.

This past year I have zip-lined (first time), skied (first time in 35 years), jet skied (first time) and snow-mobiled (first time - won't likely happen again).  We snorkeled while in Mexico (multiple times)  and most recently crossed the Royal Gorge in a gondola.  I actually also wanted to zip-line across the Gorge but they wanted too much money for the 30 second thrill.  

Where was all this interest and bravado when I was young(er)?  When I was a child, I didn't like to cross bridges (any bridges) and would typically hold my breath and close my eyes until we were across.  Once I started driving, I had to open my eyes but breath holding was still available.  

During that same time period, when the opportunity presented itself, I would go to Haunted Houses, ride roller coasters and watch scary movies.  However, I never liked being afraid and all those things inspired fear in me.  That is another great benefit of where I am at now.  It is obvious that I do more than I did in the past, AND,  I absolutely refuse to do anything that is not FUN to me.

I was talking to my sister a week or so ago and she said "why would you want to go zip lining?  We are too old for that!"  Apparently, I am not!  

Some of the same questions that plagued us when we were younger (where do we fit in this world, what will the future bring) have been answered, or at least, are evolving.  Based on my own experience, my sense of self and identity (while open to change) is now who I am.  This time of life can be very fluid as changes occur that impact relationships, health, job security, and financial status.

Yet I have never felt this serene. I believe this is because I know who I am, I know who I belong to and I recognize this world is not our home.  

When I think of self-doubt and readjustment, that seems to describe that time period for me which included my 20's and 30's. I recognize now the major flaw then was that I relied too much on my own understanding.  

I don't know about you, but I plan on celebrating my middlescence right up until "old age" (yet to be defined).

Until next time,
#saved

your pal,
Kari

Don't ask me that!

Talking about the meeting!

I am sure you have all heard that popular saying "there are no stupid questions".  When it comes to meetings, (which I love to hate), I beg to differ.  Despite the very nature of meetings, there are some questions that should NEVER be asked.

Meetings make up a major part of my day.  It is not uncommon for me to have back to back meetings all day.  Once a meeting is on my calendar, that time is reserved for whatever topic that needs to be discussed.  I like the idea and structure of meetings.  Yet I find myself often disappointed.

Here is a typical scenario.  Let's say a meeting with seven people  (as shown on my calendar) is from 10:00 a.m. to 11:00 a.m.  Based on response, everyone is attending.  What this means to me:  I arrive a few minutes early and get settled, so the meeting may promptly start at 10.

What this means to 2 or 3 others:  Show up whenever it's convenient.

What this means to 1 person - With no notice, don't show up at all (keep them guessing).

What this means to the meeting leader (and this is where the first stupid question gets asked of the group).  "Should we wait?"  Once this question is asked, you have now told me that the offenders time is more valuable than mine.  Even though I am the one ready and willing to get started.  At this point, I can feel a sharp incline in my blood pressure.  I promise you, I typically assume the question is being directed at me and my answer to this question is always an emphatic "No".

If my answer is accepted, the meeting then commences.  Fast forward about 10 minutes.  Now we have the late attendee entering the room.  Second stupid question/comment - Should we take a minute (never a minute) to catch everyone up?  PLEASE DIRECT THAT QUESTION TO ME.....(see emphatic first answer above).  Translation:  we are now going to reward the disrespectful behavior by catering to the latecomer's clock and we will now have those who respected the meeting organizer and meeting sit there and listen to the same spiel for the second time.  THIS CAN HAPPEN MORE THAN ONCE!!

As we near the 11:00 hour (which has been imprinted on my brain and soul) as the planned time of conclusion, I can already tell that we are nowhere near finished (because we have had to start over at least once). OMG!

Call me a clock watcher, but my time is reserved and now I have options - miss the conclusion of thi
s meeting - or disrespect those who scheduled to see me at 11:00 a.m.

As God is my witness, I will gather my things and exit that room, regardless of who is running the show (or attending the meeting).

Then - I get the quizzical glance - eyebrows raised, like WHERE IN THE HE#* ARE YOU GOING?

Seriously???

Ok, I feel better now.

Until next time,
#ontimeornotatall

your pal,
Kari