Do we ever outgrow the need for others to see our value? That may have been my first evaluation, but it wasn't the last one I shared with someone. And not all evaluations were perfect, so even those that included statements that I may or may not have agreed with, I sought input and validation from those closest to me.
Our grade cards throughout school were, for the most part, a capable and objective measurement of our skills and talents (and even our behavior). Once I transitioned to the performance evaluation, I realized how subjective this measurement could be. It was especially challenging for me to remain objective when I began doing evaluations for others.
As I review (in my mind....I didn't save all of them) the plethora of evaluations I have been the subject of over my working career of 25+ years, it is easy to see how much more pleasing
|I think I see it!|
I take the liberty when being introduced to a new audience, to insert "his/her favorite" regardless of relationship. Favorite to me translates to BEST! If I am obviously not someone's favorite, I then determine what must happen....for that to happen.
I have been the recipient of forwarded emails, letters, etc. shared with me regarding those I work with...and those I love. The information shared is generally written proof that this person is viewed as valuable where they work, through volunteering, etc. What this proves to me is that I am not the only one still sharing positive affirmations received, with others.
Not all the positive comments involve performance and those are my favorite kind. I think this need of hearing compliments started at an early age. My mom has shared with me that when I was five, she had a friend over who while there heaped extravagant compliments regarding my appearance. The next day I suggested to my mom that she invite her friend over again...so she could tell me how pretty I was. (And so it began)
I won't go into detail with the compliments that have stayed in my memory for a lifetime. That would seem vain, BUT, let me share the latest comment that made my day while we were in Nashville. As Terry and I were walking down the street one evening, heading back to the hotel, we passed a young man who said to us as we walked by "nice job taking your daughter out, man". Well,
It is no secret that I tell people I am Terry's trophy wife, but I had no idea I would find buy-in (ever).
Sometimes I think life is just a series of "performance evaluations". Your evaluator will either be measuring "whatever" based on reality, or may be very subjective depending on how THEY feel.
And I have just discovered that sometimes, how they feel,,,,,is okay by me.
Until next time,