The first thing you read...is the room

There is so much written about just "being yourself" but we all know that isn't really true.  Don't we?  And if you haven't learned that lesson already, you will soon enough.  I would dare to say you are close to 30 (or under) and may still think that everyone wants to know who YOU really are.  And that we all have the RIGHT to be who we REALLY are....at all times and in all places.

Au contraire, mon ami.  For those of you who are not bi-lingual, that means, On the contrary, my friend.

Or "read the house"

I was sitting on an airplane the other day (minding my own business) but came close to stepping into someone else's,  I chose not to for a couple of reasons.  I was tired, I had heard the words before...and primarily, I didn't have small children with me.  There were two guys sitting directly behind me. They were speaking clearly and quite loudly so I could not help but overhear.  And what I overheard was the f-bomb every other word.  Now, like I said, I have heard the word before, may have even said it myself a time or two, HOWEVER, as I have told my kids more than once - "know your audience" or "be aware of your surroundings" or how about "time and place"?

My mouth may not have said anything but my face told a different story.  And when I looked around, I noticed other people were "expressing" the same disdain.  Now, before we all start spouting off about how we don't care about what other people think about us...we all know that isn't really true. Don't we?  If that was that case, we wouldn't take such care in our appearance, the clothes we wear, etc.  I think sometimes we just forget.  A momentary lapse of how we come across to others.

I can still remember when the light bulb came on in my head.  I was 25 years old (yes, I caught on rather quickly if I do say so myself).  I had said something quite rude out loud while I was at the bowling alley with our work bowling league.  I instantly knew that I had offended an older woman on the team.  My first reaction was to puff up and get all defensive (after all, this was after hours - I can say and do what I want - BLAH BLAH BLAH).  I quickly realized I was reacting that way because I was embarrassed.  Perhaps in another venue, with other people, I would have been fine.  At times I say rude things because I think they are funny.  Not everyone appreciates my sense of humor.  I was being schooled in "how to read a room - time and place and knowing your audience" and it was a bitter pill to swallow.

BUT I DID.  I went up to the woman and apologized.  Because in reality, I meant no harm and I did not want her to think less of me for something so small.  That type of impression can travel fast.  Not necessarily the faux pas but the inability to rebound gracefully.

So, while I may still be far from perfect (this is a chronic condition that I am learning to live with), what I have learned is to be gracious and recognize the opportunity for a "do over" when it presents itself.  And maybe even more importantly, the ability to allow others to do the same.

Until next time,
#bethebestthatyoucanbe

your pal,
Kari