Words and deeds.

I was meeting with a group of people I worked with, stressing the importance of communication and the many ways we all communicate.  A problem had occurred and the supervisor was trying to solve it via email.  We were discussing how email could "sound" so different than the actual spoken word. The conversation soon evolved to body language, the words that weren't spoken, speaking with the eyes or avoiding eye contact all together and so many other ways we communicate (or not communicate).

It's interesting how quickly a person can feel backed into a corner by the weapon of words.  Striking out is immediate and never thought out very well.  Eyes can spark as bright as any fire and the sting of what is said lasts longer than a slap.  When the conversation is replayed (and it will be) the healing process starts over.  A physical wound would mend faster.

I once read a phrase that went like this:  "When we use force, we acknowledge love has failed."  I wrote it down because I wanted to ponder what I thought that meant.  It goes well beyond the initial interpretation of a physical nature.  This is what "force" looks like to me.

1.When things don't go our way.  This applies to mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, kids, anyone who breathes.  When things don't go exactly the way we think they should, let's call "bullshit" on whatever is happening. This is our way of trying to minimize whatever the situation is.  Now, let's follow it up with some good old name calling - the more personal, the better.  (That should really make us the better person).

2. When we are reminded of something we said we would do.  Same audience.  When we are reminded of something we said we would do (and we have forgotten or really don't want to) let's get UGLY with the person who had the misfortune to remind us.  After all, there is nothing like a good defensive posture to make the other person feel small.  And aren't we the RIGHTEOUS one?

3. When we are tired, hungry, angry, anxious (you get the drift).  Same audience.  Whenever we are not feeling "our self" why shouldn't we take it out on whoever we love?  They should understand, right?  We have a RIGHT to our feelings......

Don't we?  Isn't that why we get married?  Have kids?  Stay in contact with our extended families? Have friends?

I didn't think so.

Until next time,
#lovetheoneyou'rewith

your pal,
Kari