Always....Always, Remember who you are!

When our youngest came to an age where she would go off with other kids (and their families) without us, I always liked to remind her to "remember who you are" as she was leaving.  It wasn't that I was afraid she would forget her name and not find her way home (though maybe there were times when she might have liked to) but as she left our care, I felt it was important that she take with her the values that made her "who she was".  She was not only representing her own character, but her family and her faith.

Representing....ME!

Even now, I remind myself to "remember who I am" when I find myself confronted with situations that could have moral consequences (for me) whether it is at work, in discussion or in social situations.  That old adage, "you are the company you keep"' has proven true for me over the years as I have walked down assorted paths with all kinds of people.  And choices needed to be made.  Is that really who I was or who I wanted to be?  Everyone has a moral compass that measures differently.

In the past couple of days, I have had conversations with several different friends regarding people's motives/reactions in different circumstances.  This ties back to "remembering who you are".  And who you know other people to be.  The question was raised, "why does BLANK always think people will betray him?"  Not just one person at one time but all the time.  I would say that is because this person's M.O, is betrayal.  Remember, people tend to worry about what they themselves do.  If a person thinks everyone cheats, it is because they are a cheater.  If a person worries that everyone lies, it is because they are less than truthful.  And those of us who expect the best of people, can be very disappointed when we run into one of the above.

Being myself with another

At one point in my career, I was called in for a conversation with a senior executive and he posed this statement in a question form, but we both knew it was less of a question and more of a judgement.  He said something to the effect of "You were hired because of your ability to communicate well with others, avoid conflict, be empathetic, and yet I am hearing things to the contrary.  Are you not who I thought you were?"  Interestingly enough, this same person had told me not two years prior (in an email no less) that if he could choose a boss, he would choose me.  How quickly the tide turns.  I looked at him for a moment and knew that this type of conversation (if sincere) would generally call for an apology, and a re-commitment to do better.  I thought about who I was for just a moment and replied, "No, I am still that same person that you hired.  I am an excellent communicator and work well with all walks of life.  The only thing that has changed recently is who you are listening to".  That was our last conversation.

Obviously, this wasn't the only indicator to me that this person wasn't who I thought him to be. And I didn't know at the time that this was to be our last conversation.  I am so blessed that I was covered in grace in that moment, that I was able to remember who I was..  Not rude, loud or inappropriate (again, that is not who I am) but I was authentically me.  NEVER EVER, let people define you!  No one can ever know you  better than you know yourself.  Yes, we all have faults that can be improved upon... but character is what you bring to the table.

There are so many things I don't understand when I try to figure out why people do the things they do, but this much I know for sure, no matter where I end up, I always win when I remember who I am!!!!!

Until next time,
#rememberwhoyouaretoo!

your pal,
Kari