I didn't fall from Grace...I never had any!

I remember the first time I was called Gracie.  As part of the union negotiations team, we had been back and forth meeting with the union that day.  At times the meetings had become heated and after one particular tense meeting, we had "taken five".  We were getting ready to go back in and I was leading the group.  In my haste to get to the negotiations table, I walked right out of my shoes and almost fell on my face.  I would like to say it happened when I first got up, or I tripped over something, but that wouldn't be true.  I was halfway across the room, this was in mid-stride and there was no reason for this to happen.  And I heard "Way to go, Gracie".

Maybe this is why I don't enjoy the ballet.  The dancers are all so graceful and poised.  My husband planned a surprise anniversary evening several years back which included drinks, dinner, the Nutcracker ballet and an overnight stay in Kansas City.  That ballet lasted forever.  Perhaps I was secretly jealous of their God-given talents to glide across the stage.  (I wasn't so secretive about my boredom).    Lord knows I have no grace to speak of.  Looking back it became evident early on that I would not "glide" through any room.

I will admit to what I call my "annual" fall.  I mistakenly thought this was weather related but I have no excuse in Texas.  In Kansas and Missouri I would generally find the last piece of ice that had not melted for the season to use as my launch.  One time I was getting out of the car in what appeared to be a dry parking lot.  My foot hit the only remaining piece of ice in the State of Kansas and not only did I slip and fall, I slid under the car.  I quickly pulled myself out and looked around.  After I determined that the coast was clear, I then checked myself for injuries.  ALL GOOD.  I went into the Hallmark store to buy "get well" cards (no irony there) and was at the check out counter when the lady said "did you fall out in the parking lot"?  NUTS.  I said, "yes, did you see me"?  She replied, "no, you have dirt and ice all over your back".  So humiliating.



How can I not see this?

To this day I cannot walk through the same door twice without clipping the frame with my shoulder, elbow, heel bone or some other body part.  That I make it through once I consider lucky.  Who remembers the auction items we have acquired?  Let me introduce you to the Virgin Mary who I clipped with my hip just the other day.  I went flying but she sustained no injuries.

I am not some hulking presence that just can't seem to navigate the waters calmly.  I have been described as petite, small, even tiny.  Yet I am larger than life in some situations.

When I was fifteen I was being chased around the pool, (one of those kidney shaped affairs) by a very attractive 18 year old boy.  In my haste to get away, I made a flying leap into the pool AND MISSED THE WATER.  I went from one side of the pool to land on concrete on the other.  Who does that?  I was mortified!

When it was time to start dating, I couldn't be counted on  to casually sip  my drink through a straw and make conversation...no, when I tried to transition between conversation and drink -my straw went up my nose.

As an adult, I have walked into the men's restroom thinking they were the stairway doors and into closets thinking they were exits...always with an audience.

Most recently, I impaled myself (well, no broken skin but you get the gist) on a grand piano.  I can't even explain properly how this happened but trust me-all I was doing was looking out a window while walking.

It's a small wonder I have never broken any bones..other than my toes.  And that happened AGAIN here recently when I was walking barefoot in the house, took two steps wrong and.....
Hence the nickname Gracie.

Thank you, Glenda, for teaching me the three points of contact on the stairs.  I have only fell down them three times since the Texas move (remember...no more winters) and it has been my hands that have eventually saved me!

Until next time,
#prideismyonlyinjury
#pridegoesbeforethefall

your pal,
Kari