Looking out at a new view, with a new viewpoint!,

So, I have been out on my own for almost two weeks and I realize now I have some tough habits to break.  Why didn't anyone tell me how often I picked up my electronic device to check emails?  What a slave I am (was) to that device.   I may have nipped that nasty habit right in the nick of time.  I do miss my schedule.  I like a well planned and structured day.  While I have had some appointments and obligations throughout this first week plus, I haven't really found my rhythm yet.  I have plugged in some regular expectations for myself which everyone seems to enjoy as we have dinner at the French home now as a regular event - DURING THE DINNER HOUR!  I know, I have even tried a new recipe which received five stars.

Recently I enjoyed a full body massage and during the massage, the masseuse said "I need you to do one thing for me".  Always eager to please I said sure...she replied "I need you to breathe".  Have you ever caught yourself holding your breath?  Maybe just for a moment when you are surprised; waiting;  even afraid?  I reflected on what she said to me long after I left.  And again after I arrived home and shared my new employment status with a close friend.  Her words to me were, "now you can breathe again".

It's interesting when you find yourself betwixt and between, wanting what you had before but knowing that your world has changed in such a way, that unless you are willing to change with it, something is going to have to give.  You continue to show up everyday, wondering what will happen that will push you a little further or cause you to speak up a little louder and soon you are holding your breath.  Your chest is tight and your shoulders ache.

You think a massage will help and it does -for awhile.  But what really helps is when you finally ask yourself...is that window over there open?  It's in that moment, you begin to breathe again.

I began to breathe again.

Until next time, best regards!